The fear Pete had lived with through for most of his childhood had overtaken and smothered all of his other emotions. And then by starting so early with drugs and alcohol his emotions were never able to rebound and grow. He was numb and cold.
Pete was 32 now.
He had promised himself he would get sober before he moved back into the Jaffey house with his brothers but that didn't happen. Realizing that even his deep affection for his brothers couldn't keep him sober Pete got a little hopeless.
The months following the acceptance that he would be accountable to his brothers and his house were some of the worst for Pete. He had always been an angry young man but now he was reacting to every tiny incident with unnecessary exaggerated rage. Pete didn't often analyze what was going on in his head but this behaviour was scaring and confusing him.
Justin's take on it was, "Dude, you're fucked up."
Very helpful.
In the eight months before the move back into his house he (and therefore Justin) had essentially run out of money. Pete's dad's life insurance money was dwindling and Ed wasn't paying any rent because he had been fired from his sad-sack job. And yet the boys continued drinking and using as if nothing was wrong. Things were going obliviously awry.
Justin and Pete began planning ways to make a little extra drug money.
"Justin, I have an idea. I've been thinking about making a coffee table book."
"Ok, that's kind of unexpected," said Justin. "Of what."
Pete, being an alcoholic and coke addict, kept very strange hours. He was known to drift off daytime or nighttime.
"I want to take photos of the best public places in the city to nap. I've tried them all. Some park benches, concrete barriers, statue bases, and the occasional very large tree stump."
"Pete, I'm fascinated." said Justin in all seriousness. He continued, "I have a plan to make a little money too. Although it's not quite as artsy."
"What is it?"
"I am going to deal coke. I kind of know everyone already."
"Jasper will have you killed." said Pete in a rare sober serious moment.
Jasper was Justin and Pete's drug dealer. Pete was sure that if Justin started dealing himself it would be an infringement on Jasper's territory. Jasper's two best customers would also suddenly stop buying.
"We tell Jasper we're clean."
"Look, I have a connection. We could bypass Jasper altogether."
Pete's stomach was turning with fear and intrigue.
"I really don't know Justin...we already owe him a lot of money."
"I could make money and pay him back"
"So you want to make money to pay back your drug dealer by being a drug dealer."
"Correct."
Even to a drunk and high Pete that sounded too good to be true. Pete had a bad feeling about the whole thing. Through all his crazy thinking Pete never had a sense of right or wrong but he did have a magical psychic sense of danger. Coke dealing right in Jasper's face would be pushing their already tenuous limits.
"I'm pretty good at flying under the radar Pete." This coming from a beautiful overgrown man tattooed from ankle to neck, very fond of brightly coloured sneakers." Very subtle.
The money situation became more real one night when they realized they couldn't afford to buy smokes or a bag of Skittles. They went in the convieniece store to look around anyway. Justin walked up to the cash with the bag of Skittles he wanted and announced, "I am taking some stuff and I have a weapon. And give me a pack of smokes."
And they walked out.
"What the fuck was that?" Pete asked incredulously.
"Justin, that's fucking serious."
"You worry too much. It worked."
It didn't work at all. The two of them crossed through Allen Gardens.
A few seconds later a cop car came screeching to a halt right behind them. Then one was in front of them. Then one raced up from the left and one from the right. Pete was looking down the barrel of a shotgun. About ten other officers had their guns drawn.
Holy shit.
The boys were separated and slammed face down on the hoods of two different police cars.
The cops screamed "Got any weapons or drugs?!" as they emptied their pockets onto the hoods of the cars. They found a pack of smokes and a bag of Skittles. Justin and Pete were handcuffed and thrown into the backs of two different cruisers.
Pete sat in the back of the cruiser and thought...well this time I didn't really do anything. But he didn't want to rat out Justin either.
The front door opened and Officer Ben Cundiff got it in and sat down. He typed a few things on his computer. He looked at Pete in his rearview mirror.
"Hello Pete." he said.
Pete was confused. "How do you know who I am?"
"Pete, This is the fifth time I've arrested you."
"Oh...um...oops."
"Ya, you're sort of a hobby for me. You don't remember any of them do you?"
Pete said, "Wait a second, did I call you "sturdy ass" once.
Ya, ahem, that's me.
"See, I remember stuff."
"I 'd rather you didn't remember that."
"Look Pete, I know Justin did all this. The store owner was pretty clear about that. But seriously, you're really high or drunk or something, so I still have to take you in."
"You don't really. And where is Justin?"
"Justin is in a bit of trouble Pete. He said he had a weapon."
"He's always doing that."
"Don't say that in court, ok."
"Ok." said Pete.
"Look," began Ben, "Let's go for a coffee before we go in."
"Why?"
"Pete, I've been watching you for a long time now. I honestly thought you'd be done with all this by now."
"All what?"
"You don't think there's anything wrong with living like this?"
"No, I don't."
Ben started up the car and heading toward a coffee shop.
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