Peter Tomas Kopecky was born in a Quebec town called Contre-Coeur, which in English translates as "unwilling." This fact would haunt him for years in his attempts to recover from alcoholism and drug abuse. He was unwilling, resistant and angry. Other than that, a great guy.
His addictions weren't really a genetic inheritance. He came to them due to circumstances beyond his control and with a little kickstart from a streak of naughtiness.
Pete showed addict behaviors long before he was ever an actual addict.
When he was 4 he was in a grocery store begging his mother for a box of Lucky Charms. She refused and walked away. When she was out of sight he reached up took a box off the shelf and walked out of the store. No one stopped him.
His mother, realizing her little boy was missing, searched the store frantically for him. A woman approached her and said, "I believe your little boy is in the parking lot."
And there Pete was standing alone holding what Pete wanted.
Most people laugh at Pete when he says this but he believes his gateway drug was Lucky Charms. But he's dead serious.
When he was 5 he asked his mother if he could go play in the bog with his friends. She said, "No. Because I don't want you getting your new shoes dirty." So Pete went to the bog, took off his new shoes, placed them gently on the shore and rolled around in the mud for a while.
He came home covered head to toe in slop. "Oh my God!" his mother yelled. "I told you not to play in the bog!" "No," Pete said "You told me not to get my new shoes dirty."
"And I didn't."
You can pick a future alcoholic/addict out of a group of kids very easily. Look for the smartypants. Look for the ones who are a little too smart for their own good. Look for the scared yet bossy ones. Basically... look for the children who are interesting.
When he was 6 Pete went to Kindergarten. He lasted a day. On the way there he had memorized the route back, just in case. Pete tolerated his first day of school for a while but he knew it wasn't for him. The other kids were noisy and kind of simple. "Fuck this shit," he thought - that is actually what he thought - and he asked to go to washroom, and bolted.
It would be the first of many times the cops would be looking for him.
He retraced the route back to his house he had memorized and came to a meadow where he laid down. And he dozed off in peace.
Pete was an only child -- at the time. His father, Tomas, was a writer. A well-known one revered for his short stories. He had respect and a large following. He said he wrote short stories because he could only love a character for so long. The one thing he did love and pay attention to for an extended period of time was his dear son Peter. Peter was his greatest joy. Tomas would hear about Peter's exploits and laugh and laugh and laugh. Tomas would rub Peter's head and say "Just like his Dad."
Peter's world was pretty good at that time. He was plotting and scheming but had no worries.
He has spent the decades since trying to recreate how he felt in those moments. Safe, loved an comfortable.
When he was 8 it all went away.
Tomas was on a flight to Los Angeles for a book conference when his life ended.
For a number of years afterwards Pete felt the way his father must have felt when the plane was crashing. Scared and descending.
Life didn't throw Pete a curve ball. He was shot with a shot gun blast.
And it got worse.
Pete's mother Judy remarried a man named Ed Burrows. The father figure in Pete's life had been a gentle loving soul. With Ed, Pete's young life would turn brutal and cruel.
Judy and Ed had three more boys in quick succession. Sam, Andy and Robbie.
Pete's half brothers.
Pete told a story once about the situation with Ed, his now step father.
He started talking about lions in Africa.
Either a good story was unfolding or it was another psychotic break.
Lions in Africa, he began, mate for life. If the male partner dies then the female has to find a new mate. If the previous male had fathered any cubs then it's up to the new male to kill them. Maul them to death. To assert that he is new leader there could be no evidence of the old male.
That's Ed. The new male.
He's the new leader.
And he has to get rid of me.
And he's doing it.
Pete would tell himself he was exagerrating.
Then he would tell himself. "No, I'm not."
Pete would go missing a lot when he was young.
Sometimes for three days...
He would return high and drunk.
This was around when he was 10.
To be continued...
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