I think I'll start calling this the Age of Lunesta. Got prescribed it yesterday to replace the useless Trazadone I had been taking. The shrink said "Well I know you so we'll just start with the maximum dose." What does that mean?
The strange thing about that Trazadone too is that it's actually an anti-psychotic. I think somebody's not telling me something. (or they are apparently afraid to.)
Ok so I took the maximum dose and thought I had an amazing night's sleep. However...my roommate called me the next day to inform me that I had spent the night wandering around babbling. I also had decided at some point that all the glass windows in the apartment should be opened to the right, instead of to the left, which is where they were. Apparently even my unconscious self is tedious and boring.
It's like when I went to the Sleep Clinic at Toronto General. They went and put me in a pitch black, soundproof room and filmed me. Well, didn't I get the best sleep I had had in two years. So i thought, crap, they're not going to figure out anything. The doctor called me a couple of days later and asked me to come in and look at the video. I said I didn't really see the point. "Oh really?" she said.
I watched the video and realized that when I am sleeping I do mean imitation of a Mexican Jumping Bean on speed. Holy Shit.
Last night, at least I didn't leave the house. Back in the day my attempts to relieve my insomnia usually involved a late night/early morning wander around my sketchy neighbourhood engaging the homeless and staring down schizophrenics. One night an insane guy crept up behind me on Jarvis and screamed, "Are you the devil?!!" .I calmly replied "No. I'm not. But he's coming." Dude froze in terror. Mean, I know, but funny. Improvised cruelty is a wonderful thing.
I used to run into one particular guy on a daily basis. He was very ill, slightly violent, and...kind of hot. He always offered me something different for two smokes. Two. Never one. One day he offered a pair of dice, the next time a VHS copy of "Cars", the next a nine of diamonds, and the best was when he offered me three condoms. I looked at him a bit strangely I guess cause he said, "It's ok dude. They're new."
I ran into yet another schizophrenic hottie in an alley of Parliament recently and had the most ridiculous conversation, like, ever. Again, this guy asked me for a smoke and said, or I thought he said, "Do you want a quarter," i.e. "I'd like to pay you a little something for this." I have come to realize after much thought that I think he had actually asked me for a quarter to which I had responded, "No I don't need your quarter."
"I'm not giving you a quarter."
"Then why did you offer me one."
"I don't have a quarter to give you. That's the fucking point!"
"I don't get it."
And me and the shirtless, mentally ill man stared at each other for a moment.
And then he says to me. "Dude there is something wrong with you," and walks away.
So a homeless schizophrenic guy tells me there's something wrong with me. It's not even 7 a.m..
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