Harm Reduction Part Eight -- Rock Bottom

Harm Reduction Part Eight - Rock Bottom

EXT..DRIVEWAY OF OISE BUILDING - NIGHT

Several cop cars are sitting in front of the building with sirens flashing. BEN pulls up and gets out of his car. He approaches one of the cruisers. PETE is sitting in the back seat. He is bloodied and beaten. BEN opens the car door.

BEN:

 What have you done?

PETE looks up stares at him blankly. 

BEN breathes out in disgust.

An OFFICER approaches. BEN hands him a set of keys.

BEN: (to  OFFICER)

Here. Take my car back to the station. I'll take him.

BEN goes around the cruiser and gets in the front. He turns on the engine.

INT. A COP CAR
The car travels along the city streets on its way back to the station.

PETE:

Where are we going?

BEN:
Honestly Pete, right now we're going to the station to book you and then...well...this time Pete I think your going to jail for a bit.

PETE says nothing.

BEN: (getting annoyed)

What happened Pete?

PETE:

I went to a meeting like you people told me to.

BEN:

You people. You people. Reality is populated by us people Pete. It's not a cult.

PETE:

It is to me.

BEN:

Ok, so what happened at the meeting Pete?

PETE:

It was closed and I got mad.

BEN: (really angry)

It' s a fucking holiday Pete. Seriously do you have any concept of anything? And are you high?

PETE:

Yes.

BEN:

And they said you resisted and got the shit beaten out of you.

PETE:

Yup.

BEN:

I want to sit you down and just scream WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT??

PETE:

I don't want to be here anymore.

BEN:

Are you suicidal?

PETE:

No. Here. Now. Cuffed in the back of this car.

BEN:

Too fucking bad.

PETE:

Why are you here? Every time. Boom. There's Ben. I want to know why.

BEN:

I've been trying to help you.

PETE: 

I don't want your help. I didn't ask for your help. You can shove your help up your sturdy ass.

BEN: 

Fuck you Pete. And quit the sturdy ass shit.

PETE:

Fuck you Ben.

Silence

PETE:

I think you're in love with me.

BEN:

Ya, right. Have you seen yourself today? Ya, I am enthralled by your hopeless pathetic charisma.

PETE:

I think you are.

BEN:

Is that your alcoholic side thinking that or your drug addict side?

Suddenly PETE slams his head against the metal cage separating him and BEN.

BEN:

HOLY FUCK!!

PETE bashes his head again.

BEN:

STOP IT!!!

PETE lets out a scream.

PETE:

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

PETE bashes his head on the cage again. BEN slams on the brakes and gets out of the car. He opens the back door and drags PETE out and stands him up against the car. BEN leans in to say something and PETE headbutts him square in the face. BEN stumbles backwards. He holds his hands to his face. He pulls them away and sees nothing but blood. In a rage he charges toward PETE and punches him in the face hard. PETE collapses to the ground. BEN has sunk to his knees.

BEN: (to PETE)

Oh my God. I am so sorry.

BEN stands up and walks over to PETE. He pulls him up to his feet and leans him against the car.

BEN:

Are you ok?

PETE says nothing. He is starting to tear up.

BEN:

I just reacted you know. I'm sorry.

PETE: (through tears)

Your reactions say more than your actions.

BEN: (with an uncomfortable laugh)

Great.

PETE is now heaving with tears. BEN reaches around him and pulls him in tight. PETE cries on BEN's shoulder. They stay that way for some time.

BEN:

Just hang on buddy.

BEN moves back slightly. He cups PETE'S face in his hands and stares at him eye to eye. BEN leans his head in slowly towards PETE'S face. He appears about to kiss him.

PETE: 

 (whispering)  Please don't.

BEN steps back.

BEN:

I'm sorry.

PETE:
Bash me in the face and then try to kiss me. You are fucked up in the head.

BEN:
I'm really sorry.

PETE:
Let's just GO.

 

...to be continued.

 

Harm Reduction Part Seven - Ben

Pete showed up at his first AA meeting drunk and high.Well, he thought, they only said I had to go. There were no other conditions placed on him. One kind attendee leaned over to Pete and whispered in his ear, "You smell like a distillery."
"Thanks," said Pete and he went back to the business of not listening.
There were about thirty people there, all of whom, Pete noted, appeared to be in more distress than him.
At one point they went around the room and each person said their name followed by "and I'm an alcoholic."
I'm not fucking saying that, Pete thought, as the introductions got closer and closer to him. Finally it got to Pete. "Hi. I'm Pete."
That's it. No admission of anything.
Everyone stared at him. He looked at the person next to him as if to say "Ok, move along."
He became known as "the dude in denial" in the rooms of AA.

During his first meeting a stranger handed him a copy of a big book appropriately entitled the "Big Book."  He was told this thing was the bible of AA and that he had to read it at least ten times. Ya, sure, he said.
Pete had to get a new Big Book about every other meeting because he kept losing or destroying them in various ways.
He threw one at a bus that had just pulled away and it got run over by the back wheels. He used one as a wind shield to light up a smoke and it caught fire. (You would think a book for alcoholics would be inflammable.) He dropped another Big Book in the Don River. He managed to fish it out but by the time it dried it had bloated to about eight timed its normal size. He still brought it to the next meeting and plopped it onto the table to various looks of disgust and disbelief.
The same attendee leaned over and whispered in his ear, "You're ridiculous."
Angrily Pete responded, "I'm trying."

One day Ben drove Pete up to Millhaven Correctional  to see Justin
Pete, for some reason, was really nervous about it. Justin. Ah, yes Justin.
A quote from the "Big Book" of  AA (yes he had glanced at it) had become an obsession  -- "the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down."
It made him think of his life with Justin. Even in Justin's company Pete was sometimes desperately lonely.  And this lifestyle was becoming a permanent thing. The longer it went on the harder it would be to change. He knew that.
Pete turned and looked at Ben's face. Ben was a very handsome man. And moral.
He felt warmth from Ben. Justin was about icy danger. As a drug addict  Pete was attracted to both equally.
But Ben.
Pete didn't get close to anyone. He was afraid he would just painfully let them down every day. Pete couldn't bear the idea of someone watching him all the time because even he knew that he was generally up to no good. And this guy's a cop for fuck's sake. Pete wanted to do Pete things. Justin was fine because he wanted to do Pete things too.
Yet, there he was still staring at the side of Ben's face.
Ben turned, looked at Pete, and smiled.
Pete smiled back.
Warmth.
Maybe I'm just deluding myself.
And, he thought, I'm too scared for any of that.

Pete walked into the visitation room at Millhaven and sitting there, behind the glass, was Justin. All the feelings rushed back into Pete. His heart raced and his throat tightened. He ran to Justin and pressed his hands against the glass.
Hey buddy., said Justin.
Hey, said Pete.
The locked eyes for a moment.
Pete was suddenly realizing how much he missed Justin. And he was mad that he was allowing himself to feel this way.
Pete was tearing up.
But then it all stopped. Justin saw Ben.
"What the fuck is he doing here?"
Pete turned around, "Oh, ah, Ben? He brought me here."
"What the fuck, dude. Why?"
"Well ah..."
"Seriously, Pete. What are  you, like, "hanging out" with a cop."
"No Justin he's trying to help me out...."
"Fuck man, I leave you alone for one month and you're fucking...what are you a p.c.goof now or something?"
"I don't know what that is so I'll say no."
Ben leans over and says "Justin, it's not like you were doing him any good..."
"Fuck you Ben...he's my best friend. I fucking look out for him."
"Um," Ben said,"you're in jail and he's all by himself."
Justin bashed the desk with his fist. "Now I'm incarcerated and resentful." Ben, are you fucking him?"
Pete jumped in..."No, Ben is not fucking me. And why would you care?"
Justin stood up pointed a finger at Ben and said "I want you to leave him alone."
Justin turned around and walked out.

"Well, there we are." said Ben.
Pete sat in silence for a bit staring at the spot where Justin had been. Kind of hurt and a little torn.

On the drive home Ben said to Pete,"You know he's no good for you."
Pete responded, "I don't care."

They pulled up to an intersection and came to a stop. Ben checked for cars to the left. He asked Pete, "How's it looking your way?"
"Bleak." he said.

After a couple of weeks of drunken AA attendance it was suggested to Pete that he get a sponsor. Sponsor. Like Bic or  Tide? "No you moron, a sponsor in the program. Someone to guide you. I think you need some help."
So Pete went on a mission to find said "sponsor."
At one meeting Pete overheard this one guy named Rich talking. This guy had 3 years sobriety and yet was questioning everything he was doing. "Do I want this? Do I want sobriety?"  "Ooh," thought Pete, "that's the one. That's my sponsor."
Turns out Rich was a better sponsor than even Pete had expected. Slightly lazy, very inattentive, and with a past history of violence that left even Pete in awe.
"He will leave me alone," Pete thought, "but I can proudly announce that I have a sponsor and get everyone off my back."

One evening, it was probably around his 27th AA meeting, Pete showed up and the door was locked. Through the glass he could see someone inside. He pounded on the door. "Hello! Hello!"
The man was a security guard. He came to the door but didn't open it.
"I'm here for the AA meeting. Could you open the door?" Pete said through the glass.
"We are closed."
"No, I have a meeting. An AA Meeting."
"Closed. Holiday."
"No, I have a meeting. Open the door."
"You no listen man. Closed. Holiday."
"I'm serious, little man," Pete was now yelling. "Open the FUCKING door.""
"I am going to call the police. Go away."
Pete was about to cross the rage line.
He pointed his finger at the man's face.
"You are fucking with my serenity!!!!"

A door was smashed in. 9-1-1 was called.

Ben was driving to work when he got a call.

"Cundiff?" It was police dispatch.
"Ya, it's Ben. Go ahead."
"Ya Cundiff, do you know some guy named Jaffey, Peter Jaffey?"
Ben tensed up.
"I do..."
"Well he's being held in a cruiser over at U of T."
"For what?!"
"Public mischief, break and enter and resisting arrest."
"Are you kidding me?"
"Well they're holding him there now and they said he knows you."
"Ya, ok. I'm coming."
Ben bashed the steering wheel with his hands a few times.
FUCK!!!
He turned the car around and headed back to U of T.